Health Issues Rear Their Ugly Heads

 Have you ever felt as though you just don't care anymore? About anything? Or, at least, anything important? That's where I am. This last year, with Covid and all the lock downs, I find myself caring less and less about anything, especially myself. I know, it's not good to have an ego. And I don't. At least, I don't think so. But, now that things are opening up more, I am forced into dealing with medical appointments again. And that has me thinking (and stressing) over whether or not to look into getting this damned hernia repaired and more specifically, how it could affect the future (pregnancy, other health issues). This thing prevents me from having more independence as far as being able to take care of myself with minimal assistance from my parents. It also makes my self-esteem go down the drain. I hate how I feel and how I look. I can't wear the kinds of clothes I'd like to because of my bulging abdomen and the excessive scarring. The clothes are either ill-fitting and painful, or just ugly. 

I don't date, due in part, to these issues. And now would be the preferred time for me to have kids (if I am going to). My dating issues, however, started due to lack of trust in men and bad relationships (both platonic and romantic). I have met someone via the Internet but, I don't know if we'll ever meet and I don't want to settle for someone out of mere necessity. 

Sorry if I am being depressing but, these issues are just a few that are wrong me down. Hopefully, my next entry will be more interesting and cheerful. 

Christi J. Patton

Finding a purpose

For the last 10+ years, I have struggled with finding my purpose and setting life goals. I have also had to deal with medical setbacks. In 2008, one year after graduating from college, I ended up in the hospital. My appendix had ruptured and I had to have emergency surgery.
After that, I had other complications due to the infection effecting other older health issues. This led to 3 more surgeries (2 of which were emergencies). All of this was in a time span of slightly over a month. When the doctors removed the staples from my incision (the appendix surgery), they told me to get up and move around. I did this with my dad's assistance. When I got back to my room and back into bed, the nurse came in to check on my incision. We found, the wound had split open. They proceeded to pack the wound until I was approved for a wound vacuum. I used this device until I developed an allergic reaction to the adhesive on the tape that was used to seal the vacuum.
These were further setbacks and I later learned, I'd developed an abdominal hernia (which I have yet to get repaired because of fear of future problems). The hernia throws my balance off further and it wasn't great to begin with because of my disability.

Anyway, going back to my initial topic. I graduated from college with the hope and intention of working in the music industry promoting bands. However, all of that came to a standstill after getting rejected by my dream job (working at a radio station where I had completed my internship), due to the economy, and my previously discussed health setbacks.

I have a bachelor's degree in Communications with a focus in Public Relations. I have thought about going back to school but because I have difficulty with being mobile due to my disability and other health issues, I don't think I would be able to find a job (especially since it would be necessary for me to work from home) and I don't think it would make sense, financially.

So, what do you do when you're trying to find your purpose in life? I, recently, watched a talk from Amy Purdy, Bethany Hamilton, Jim Kwik, and Lewis Howes. In it, they talked about bouncing back and finding your resiliency, especially in uncertain times like what we have going on in the world right now.
I thought it might help direct me and give me pointers. All of these people had some sort of direction though, when their setbacks and disabilities occurred. Which is not like my situation at all. My issues and disability began at birth. I respect these people (especially Amy and Bethany) but how could I tailor what they were saying, to fit me and my dilemma? I wasn't sure. I decided to center my blog around my disability. I don't know if it will help anyone other than myself but if it does, then I have found my purpose. It will still be about my daily activities and crafting but, hopefully, in a deeper way.

If you have questions and/or suggestions, please put them in comments.

Hi everyone!
Yesterday, I posted about Bujoing or Bullet Journaling. I decided that, for now, it is NOT for me. It did, however, give me ideas for general journaling.

That is one thing I am trying to work on, getting better at journaling and using the journals I have accumulated. I decided my original strategy of separate journals for separate topics works better for me to a large extent anyway.

Word of advice: To those of you who have tasks/activities to do but no set schedule with a lot of appointments, projects, or kids activities; then a bujo may not work for you.

I thought it would help me to be more motivated to get projects, reading, my To Do list, done. Not so much. The more research I did, the more stressed I became, thus, defeating the purpose right from the jump. I have no job, I'm not enrolled in school and I don't have a family to manage so, a bujo isn't for me. One thing all of that research did help me with was giving me ideas on how to combine topics, which I will do in future yearly journals.

I hope this helps! Have fun with your journals! Be creative!

Happy crafting! 💜

Happy New Year!

In 2020, I plan to get more organized and get things accomplished in a timely manner. That being said, I have been looking into bullet journaling or bujoing (if you prefer the lingo). I am somewhat OC when it comes to making lists and I thought a bujo may work for me.

However, every YouTube video I have watched or article I have read on the subject, seems more geared towards people in school or with a job and generally have a lot going on. I don't fit into this at all! Due to my disability, I can't work and haven't decided whether or not to go back for a new degree. I do have a BA in Communications with a focus in Public Relations.

I, mostly, just want an easier way to plan my day to day activities (and the occasional family gathering or appointment). my activities include: keeping up with the family tv show schedule, writing, reading, doing a variety of crafts (although mostly drawing and coloring), various puzzles (Sudoku and crosswords), and possibly notes for my computer games. Preferably, a method that I can stick to and will get me motivated!

If any of you have suggestions, please feel free to leave them in comments.

Peace and love!

Hello, my name is Christi Jo Patton. Welcome to my blog. Despite living with Cerebral Palsy and dealing with chronic pain due to past surgeries, I still try to live my life as best as I can. I have two older siblings and live with my parents. I enjoy singing, writing, coloring, drawing, scrapbooking, reading, listening to music, playing computer games and doing puzzles of various types.

In this blog, I hope to be posting about many of these topics. I hope you will share your interests as well. I welcome music, book, tv show and movie recommendations, as well as craft advice.

An interesting fact: I am the daughter of the Creative Genie, Christine Patton. You can check out her blog at creativegenie-ous.blogspot.com. She hasn't posted in a while but she'll be back soon!

I look forward to sharing with you and hope to hear back from everyone.

Have a beautiful day!